I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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