what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
