My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
