apparently the secret to your success is patron
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
