I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
