but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
