I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
