One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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