Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize