did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
