I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
