Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize