All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
