dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
