Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
