I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just invented taco cereal.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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