Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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