I think I am morally bankrupt
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
