I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
