the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
