Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
