I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize