she was so not down for the gang bang
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
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