Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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