someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
