So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I need a burrito and a hug.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
