How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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