why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
