shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
