BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
honey bunches of taint.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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