She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
