What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
