I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
