this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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