so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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