How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
