I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
