margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize