3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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