Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
