dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
