His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
is wine microwaveable?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
