just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
