Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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