Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
why didn't you poke me back
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
