the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
