One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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