It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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