Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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