my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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