CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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