Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
