we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Randomize
