Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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