Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
