I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
