I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
