we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
