Will you blow on my dice?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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